This is a collection of some of the funniest and stupidest things that the members of Duran Duran have ever said. If you ask me, this is only more proof that they shouldn't try to say anything intelligent when they've been guzzling vodka and doing lines...sorry, that was mean...

They say in psychological circles that you can tell a lot about a person by what they talk about. If that's true, I guess we can come to the conclusion that John has a preoccupation with sex and food, Simon has some sort of severe crush on John, Warren is only truly twisted individual and Nick, if he's not paranoid schizophrenic, at least has a disturbingly active imagination.

JOHN

· 6 bathrooms? Who has 6 bathrooms? Do I? What the f#$k is this 6 bathroom thing?!

· I'm not actually a musician. I prefer extortion, leather and hair products.

· I look like a raging queen!

· I don't mean I like wearing women's clothes, but to me a dress is just a long T-shirt and I like doing things differently with clothes...

· I wanna be an air force ranger!

· I have always believed in Jebus.

· Butter is great but dangerous.

· There was no sex before I was born.

· I met Nick at an institute for waywardly homoerotic teenagers...

· Oh God, I thought I was going to have a chance there for a bite of my tuna sandwich, but it was not to be...

· JOHN: We'd like to wish everyone watching Night Tracks a very merry Christmas from Duran Duran...which isn't easy to do when it's May...or June...
NICK: It's March, dear. We just had February, silly.
JOHN: We just had February!

· You got yourself a fine set of wheels, my man...

· I'm old fashioned...I don't believe in marriage.

· I'd take all the virgins into the back room and deflower them, ha ha. f#$k you, I'm done.

· I wasn't even aware of black music until Chic. Chic wasn't disco. They were the hippest rock 'n' roll band. I lost all my friends over them.

· Are you serious? Do you really care what peanut butter I prefer? Are you in peanut butter marketing or something?

· Yes, all men are created quasi evil.

· That's how me and Nick became friends...we were both into girls' clothes...

· Warren's a muscleman, Andy's a drunk...

· I'll give you three excuses to trash a hotel room. One is that construction work is going on and then they didn't tell you. Two is that the curtains do not shut completely. And three - because you're a star baby!

· The carpet's the wrong colour in the hotel room...so what do you do? You put your fist through a pane of glass. You know...hello!

· I'm such a momma's boy. I used to think it was rebellious to throw a towel on the floor.

· The story of my life is that people keep asking me the story of my life.

· I'm a bit flashy, but I can swith to pensive if you'd like.

· Of course we slept with the models in our videos. So did the managers, so did the director.

· REPORTER: ...I understand that you have somewhat of a James Bond obsession, has success helped you...
JOHN: No, it hasn't!

SIMON

· You sexy motherfucker!

· We've got to get you an extension for that thing! No!! Not THAT thing!!!

· It's not JUST Norwegian whaling songs, actually, it has a few, um...Japanese, um...flower arrangement songs as well.

· WHOOSH!!!

· Boing! Boing! Boing!

· Goodnight Debbie?!

· I have very stange dreams, especially when I'm traveling. I had one recently that someone was sending me messages by spider. A spider would crawl up my right arm, go across my shoulders and down my left arm and then I'd understand the message. The messages came from my right hand - they were really stupid. I don't think it'll catch on.

· The best sound is when you get your ship back. You get TWO.

· Actually, I believe f#$k means love. It's being misused and it's a good word. We should say it a lot.

· That's what a bit of ice cube on the nipple'll do for you.

· Sex is by far and away much more interesting than cards or video games.

· I'd spent my entire teenage years suffering one unrequited love affair after the other. I was so shy I couldn't even talk to girls. If I fancied them, I'd follow them home, but I didn't have the guts to approach them. I was a teenage stalker. The same went for John. The first time I saw him he was this specky geek with nicotine-stained fingers, trembling with fear at the prospect of having to meet people. And his name wasn't even John. It was Nigel. He was a Nigel with glasses, poor sod. I remember staring at his face and slowly realising that he was rather beautiful, exquisite in fact. I mean, this was the best looking guy I'd seen in years, maybe my whole life. Losing his glasses and changing his name to John was the best thing he ever did. He was a man transformed. To see him in action was incredible. He could charm the knickers off anyone.

· The greatest musician I know is John Taylor.

· I've always rather fancied John.

· We're much more into each other. (Simon and John that is.)

· I make sense sometimes, but not completely.

· Mr. Perfect, John Taylor, never makes mistakes.

· Somebody give me a wristband!

· WHAT? John beat me? Well, in that case I'll have to start eating hamburgers and chocolate to keep up with him...

· I haven't finished talking to me monkeys!

· Did they use my bit about Robert Palmer being a wanker?

· I'm absolutely normal!

· I have a large piece of cake in my mouth here...

· This is the most fun I've had with my pants on. Now if I'd said this is the most fun I've had while wearing women's underwear, we'd be having an entirely different conversation...

· I suppose I am a tart!

· And my ego remains as equally inflated as it's ever been...

· I wouldn't clone myself if I could, the world ain't big enough for the both of me!

· Amanda and John is not a good combination.

· If you don't like it then f#$k YOU!

· I could quite possibly have done this interview naked!

· It's mine and I'll wash it as FAST as I like...

· My goodness, you're quite dinky, aren't you?

· I'm not a snob. Ask anybody...well, anybody who matters.

ANDY


· ...And they were the biggest bunch of weirdoes I'd ever seen.

· He's got very big feet, John. Possibly one of the biggest pairs of feet I've ever seen.

· You just hear BOING and you know John's snapped a string or something and gone completely mad...

· John did graphics for a year, so he claims to be the world's expert on typography and that.

· ANDY: Slam your fist down if you're commited!
JOHN: My God, we're committed!

· John wears ladies' knickers!

· I'm telling you, I'm as happy as a pig in s#*t!

· The only meat I can eat...I'm not sure it is meat, actually.

· I'd always felt like being weird, but there was noone to be weird with in Newcastle.

ROGER

· You can't scratch your bum in public anymore.

WARREN

· I answered the door wearing nothing but a feather boa.

· They can be really cruel, some of these photographers.

· How do you suck in your belly AND your double chin? Even for the first three songs that's quite a task.

· Nick Rhodes is my idol.

· What are you on, man? Medazzaland?

· Let the balls start flying.

MISCELLANEOUS

· REPORTER: John, why did you switch from lead guitar to bass?
ANDY: You should hear him on guitar!
SIMON: He still plays with his foot!
JOHN: I only used to play a guitar with four strings on it.
ANDY: One finger at a time.

· REPORTER: ...Do you think if you were not so cute you would have the same success?
ANDY: Oh, we're cute, are we?
JOHN: Oh, that's really sweet!
ANDY: Isn't she nice? What's your name, what are you doing?
SIMON: ...What do you do, have a face drop?
ANDY: Cut your face, smash your teeth?